Sharing Scars

Happy tears are a strange concept. What does it really mean to be so filled with emotion that we end up at the other extreme? I hadn't felt that for a while...but I got to experience it again tonight.

I got to have a movie night with my boyfriend - and the film of choice was Pursuit of Happyness. An amazing film if you haven't seen it...a story about what it means to fight for a dream against all odds. It kinda left us both groping for words. We made small talk for a while and then I made a comment to him about the fact that the upcoming week in New Orleans was going to be an odd one - that I'd been so spoiled getting to see him almost every day. He stopped, looked at me and kind of chuckled...and I asked him why - he said it was just an odd concept - being the source of spoiling. We just sorta sat there together, I told him he was worth it. I'm so happy with him...some days I really have to pinch myself to be convinced that the last three months really have been real. :)

I think back sometimes...the most recent thing that amuses me is looking back at the other guys I would have liked to date while I was in college. The first one was the musician, jack of all trades, in a little bit of everything. The second one was the fiercely loyal friend, unique, a little shy, but at the same time was bound and determined to be himself even if it meant not always fitting in. The third was the goofball, smart, self assured, a great sense of humor, and despite all of that, still there was a part of him that didn't see his full worth - and how much he meant to the folks around him.

Each time I met one of these guys, I was hooked...between their personalities and their characteristics, I was certain each of these guys had what I was looking for. And, each time the chance at a potential relationship came and went, I looked back thinking there was no way I'd ever meet another guy like them, and I did...twice. After the third shot was gone towards the end of my college career, I sorta decided to just chill for a while...see what would play out. I moved to Fairmont, and I guess somewhere in the back of my mind was keeping an eye out for decent single guys, but not actively looking. Every now and again someone would mention someone they knew, but never real seriously. So, I just hung back, let life play out, and enjoyed the ride...and before I knew what had even happened, God dropped someone into my lap...so perfect that I think I didn't even know what to do. Luckily, I eventually came to my senses...and the rest is history. Beautiful, happy history.

We find in those around us the things that complete us, that fill in the missing pieces we didn't even know we were missing. And then, we write our life songs. Together.

1.
Hanging by a thread, we see familar faces
Swimming in a sea of unspoken stories

Countless causes for us to lose heart
At the end of our rope and coming undone

2.
Holding on and holding in, we push away and keep our distance
Worried we'll lose something we'll forget and can't replace

Ripping the stitches, before the wound has healed
Our only hope is to escape, unharmed and unscathed

3.
Building piece by piece the name You gave me
Knowing what we take may be passed to someone else

Realizing we may lose pieces, it's all a part of the plan
No longer looking for escape, giving up the fear of harm

B.
Stitching each piece to another, we become a colorful patchwork
Giving voice to the seamstress, broken people coming together

C.

It's a process of give and take, life's not only made of what we make
What I thought was mine is ours, all we're doing is sharing scars