Tell me what I want...

I was trying to come up with some clever twist on the song 'Tell me what you want' as I debated what to call this particular posting.  The inspiration came from a question in a book I am currently reading, called 'Sticky Faith.'  The question was - 'When people decide to read a book, they are often trying to solve a problem.  What problem(s) are you hoping to address by reading this book?'

There were other questions posed too, but this one made me think about a question I've been getting asked a lot lately, and one that I've been either struggling to answer, or feeling like I've answered differently than I am actually feeling.  That question is, 'how are things going in your new ministry so far?'

Part of the reason I've been getting this question so much is that others are learning about my transition from one ministry in Fairmont (and one church in Fairmont) to another ministry and church in Fairmont.  Admittedly, things have been going pretty well, from a fairly basic standpoint.  I get along with most of the kids, I am learning how to do ministry in a new church, kids have been coming to the ministry I've been doing, and relationships are being developed.  So, good.

But what I've been struggling with is how 'good' is 'good?'  Am I simply existing in ministry?  Am I growing within the new ministry, or am I simply comparing what seems to be good here with some of the things that weren't as 'good' at my old ministry site?  What is my measure of success?  I think it is those questions that sometimes leave me feeling speechless.

Beginning a ministry in a new church in the same community as your old church is not something I would necessarily recommend.  There are some strange things that happen when you do.  First, you're still around your old students, some of whom are still mad/sad/disappointed/confused at why you left.  Second, you're around the new youth leader in your old church, who might feel awkward/threatened/confused around you.  (Incidentally, while I haven't spent a lot of time talking to her, I do consider myself to be on good terms with her and am doing my best to stay out of the way of her ministry.)  Third, if you were at all established in the community, some of the people in your new church will know you, if not well, at least by name or association, which means that they might already think or operate as if you know them, when in fact, you don't.  Part of this difficulty is my own fault, however, because knowing this, I need to be putting myself out there more and introducing myself to people that might know me, but I don't know them.  At least not well enough.  Fourth, because others have seen you in ministry before and believe you to be at least mostly competent in ministry (which I believe is true of me, as much as I can attest to it - I didn't say awesome at ministry, just competent), and sometimes don't tell you certain things because it is either assumed that you already know them or they just forget to tell you because you've been around in other capacities for a while.  (In addition, I have to be careful that I don't just 'carry on where I left off' in my old ministry - the students are different, the congregation is different, and while I am able, of course, to use some of the things I have developed before and transfer them here, I cannot necessarily use them in the same way.)  The list goes on, certainly, but these are the things that regularly come up in my mind.

I have been talking to different people during my time at my new church, some within the church, some not.  I have started getting to know the people, some of the leanings of the church body, some of the difficulties and struggles that are different and yet always present.  No church is perfect, no matter how much this seems to be true before you get involved.  I know this, but always have to relearn it.

I have been in conversation with both some students in the ministry and others at the church as well, and I know that if I want to continue to be able to answer others that ask this same question in a positive way, I have to have a way to know if I have been meeting my goals and the goals of others.   In addition, I need to be able to have a way to confidently say that I am working towards God's goals for ministry - that I am working to train kids as disciples and giving them ways to grow in their faith.  I need to fight off the desire to be comfortable and 'carry on' - something we talked about last week in our Sunday night youth group study.  I have to be comfortable striving for change, and I have to be faithful in carrying out the charge I have been given to teach and guide others in faith, spreading the Gospel 'to the ends of the earth.'

What am I hoping to get out of the book?  What problems am I hoping to address?  My own complacency (before it has a chance to set in), my desire to carry on the strong leadership and growth, and my desire to redevelop my definition of ministry in a new setting.  Have I done that?  Will I do that?  Time will tell.