Chasing the Wild Goose

For the last six months now, a friend of mine and I have been pursuing the idea of opening a coffee shop in town. It was an idea that developed after being approached by a couple of people from the local community college who were interested in finding a place that could be a hangout for some of the students between classes and after for doing homework or just relaxing. Within a few days or weeks, we heard about a grant that was being offered, and thought about just how awesome it would be if we could find a way to develop our coffee shop idea so we could try and secure the grant. We attended the meetings, waited, attended more meetings, waited...and found out that we had not gotten the grant. No, wait, we actually did get the grant - part of it, anyway...but no one told us right away. There began the arduous journey that would be the next several months. Little did we know. And, funny, because part of the grant committee was called TMI - which I feel is exactly what we have gotten over the course of the past few months. or maybe it was the opposite...TLI - too little information. :)

After getting the grant, we had to reconsider exactly what we were going to do, because the amount of money was less than we had originally bargained for. So, we thought partnering would be a better option - not having to start from scratch...and after talking with a handful of people, someone gave us the name of a local woman that was looking to start a coffee shop in town. GREAT!! She even called it an answer to prayer the first time I talked to her on the phone...seriously...it was for us too. So, we talked. Began the process. Dreamed together.

Then...deadlines came. And passed. Timelines were shifted, moved back...lost altogether. We met, waited, met, hemmed and hawed, got grief, got everyone's opinions (whether we wanted them or not), and tried to keep going. For three months.

Turns out, everyone really wants this coffee shop. That's what they say, anyway. They say "we really need one here, that they really want one here...and they wish they could help, but..." That's my favorite comment of all. Honestly, if the answer is no, say that. I'm ok with no. What I'm not ok with is you saying you want to help, but there's no way you can. That doesn't help me. At all.

"The time isn't right." "There is too much uncertainty. We don't know which direction we're going to move with that space, so, the timing is bad." "Have you talked to so and so? I bet they might have an idea..." The comments came. Everyone seems to know someone else that would be a great place for us to go to and get started or find a new springboard...but after the third or fourth one of those things, you start wondering just where that goose is at...hiding just behind the next corner, waiting on the other side of the top of that hill? Who knows.

The funny thing is...today was the best conversation...perhaps the most productive one we've had so far...and our idea was all but completely shot down. I sound bitter...I was...I don't think I am anymore though. You see, today felt like the first time we got any straight answers out of anyone. I'm sick of beating around the bush. Yeah, there was the token 'I'd love to help, but...', but even then...something just felt different. I don't know why. They kept talking about money...thinking they'd lose all sorts of money if we shared space with them. I remember thinking at one point that I wish there was a way to somehow get the money to go to them instead. Sort of the 'kill them with kindness' mentality I suppose. Or something like that.

So, I left the meeting, rode my bike over to the bike shop for a pick me up, and then came back to work, where I found a lovely CER letter waiting for me in my mailbox, about what else...the coffee shop. Another 30 days notice about the grant. Salt in the wound, or icing on the cake? I'm not really sure which at this point. Salty icing? No, that just sounds gross. :)

So, we continue chasing the goose. Or something. I struggle some days with wondering if this should be taken as a sign that this is not meant to happen right now...or happen with us...or happen in this way, or if it is a lesson in perseverance and continuing on even when things seem hopeless. It's a bit like being given a parachute for climbing a wall...sure, we're prepared...but not for the right thing, apparently.

Keep honking, goosey goosey gander. Perhaps one of these days we'll catch you. I hope it's before you die.