I got a wonderful note from my boyfriend this morning before work that had the same title as this post. It seemed to fit the myriad thoughts that have been rolling around in my mind as of late, and I decided to borrow the words. I think part of the reason writing in this blog is always so difficult for me is because I wait so long that I have so much to say, and can't figure out how to either put it all into words, or condense it down into something that makes sense.
It's been a wild ride lately, between being busy, having some interesting conversations with friends, having interesting things go on with other friends...and the like. I spent the better part of last weekend and the beginning of this week stewing over a comment that a friend of mine made, and in hearing said comment, learning that several months worth of fretting were over nothing at all. This should be cause for relief, but in this case, it made both me and my boyfriend wonder what sort of friendship we really have with our friend. He'd been making both of us think there was something wrong, either with out friendship, or with him. Turns out he was playing a game, trying to screw with us to achieve a desired end. Well, he got it...but unfortunately, not in the way he'd hoped. When confronted about his efforts, he laughed. Not quite the response I had hoped for.
So much of life is influenced by the people we spend our time with. Whether we realize it or not, we are constantly being changed and molded by what happens. When the people around us are positive, we are positive. When the people around us are negative, we become negative. The same is true in reverse, of course. So, why do we sometimes put up with the people that drive us nuts?
I suppose it is because we see something. We find something in them that we feel drawn to, for whatever reason, and once that connection has been made, it is difficult to undo. I don't have intentions of breaking off a friendship for one little thing like this - after all, we all do dumb things and have to answer for our mistakes. I think what bothered me most in this particular instance, was the reaction I got to telling him I didn't appreciate what he'd done to us. He just seemed to shrug it off and smile like it was no big deal, while in the meantime, I am doing everything I can not to either yell or cry. So, now it's over...mostly...we both spent a week on our own avoiding the house, and this week they take off for vacation - so we got a much needed hiatus from drama. I think we're still planning on confronting him about what this did to us...and how much is made us question our trust in his actions.
So, what in the world does all of this have to to with the goofy pair of shoes on my feet? Those glorified toe socks are called Vibram FiveFingers - shoes that are designed to take us back to a more natural way of running and walking. The thing is, even though we are meant to be able to run and walk without a bunch of fancy padding and support mechanisms on our feet, after growing up with it and living that way for years, you can't just go back to the way things were supposed to be...you have to ease into it gradually...otherwise, it hurts. A lot.
It has to do with learning...learning how we are supposed to "run" after years of being misdirected and overprotected. We can learn how to go back to the way things are supposed to be, but it will hurt. Things happen that make us wonder if the right way really is the best way, but if we keep at it, we can make it work. We can get back to normal.
Eventually...
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